HEAR WHAT PEOPLE REALLY ARE SAYING

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. 

For instance: 

• We listen to obtain information 
• We listen to understand 
• We listen for enjoyment 
• We listen to learn 

Given all the listening that we do, you would think we would be good at it! In fact, most of us are not, and research suggests that we only remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers, or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation. 

Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you are not hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25-50 percent, but what if they are not? 

Listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you can improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What is more, you will avoid conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success! 

Effective communication skills require an elevated level of  self-awareness. Understanding your own personal style of communicating will go a long way toward helping you to create good and lasting impressions with others. 

ABOUT ACTIVE LISTENING

The way to improve your listening skills is to practice active listening. This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated. 

To do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully. You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter arguments while the other person is still speaking. Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying. 

If you are finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating his or her words mentally as he says them – this will reinforce his message and help you to stay focused. 

To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what she is saying. To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you have ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying. You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it is even worthwhile continuing to speak. It is like to talking to a brick wall and it is something you want to avoid. 

Acknowledgement can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple "uh huh." You are not necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening can also help you to pay attention. 

Try to respond in a way that will encourage the speaker to continue speaking, so that you can get the information that you need. While nodding and "uh huhing" says you are interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said also communicates that you are listening and understanding his message.

Be aware that active listening can give others the impression that you agree with them even if you do not. It is also important to avoid using active listening as a checklist of actions to follow, rather than really listening. It may help to practice Mindful Listening if you find that you lose focus regularly.