PE Conveying the Message

Personal Effectiveness 

Conveying the Message

"Communication is only effective when we communicate in a way that is meaningful to the recipient, not ourselves"


- Rich Simmons -


The ability to get a message across is critical in communication. When a message does not land as indented, your audience ends up with the wrong assumptions, leading to misunderstanding and confusion. 


We can explain this best through a formula:  E = f (Q + A) 


The effectiveness (E) of your message is a function (f) of the quality (Q) of your message and the acceptance (A) of your message by the other person. 


Many people put a strong focus on the content of the message, especially when getting the message across is important or even critical. Research shows however that – for verbal communication – the accurate reception of your message is more dependent upon tone of voice and body language than on the content of the message itself. 


Think about presentations delivered to you. Which ones do you remember? Which ones were more effective? When did the message land well? And what do you remember about the content of these presentations? In the best cases, you remember the highlights and only the highlights that mattered to you. Or think about someone who is very skilled in getting the message across. Is it the Q of their messages they are good at or more the A? 



COMMUNICATION STYLES


Aggressive Communication Style 

This type of people can focus on winning even if it is on the other person’s expense. They behave as if their needs are more important, have more to contribute, and have more rights than other people. This is not a healthy style of communication because the content of the message can be lost because people become too busy reacting to the way it is delivered. 


The Passive-Aggressive Communication Style 

This is a communication style where a person appears to be passive on the outside but are indirectly acting out their anger. People employing this style of communication usually feel powerless and undermine the object of their resentments subtly to express how they feel, even if it means sabotaging themselves. A good expression that can be used to describe them is “cutting off your nose to spite your face”. 


The Submissive Communication Style 

This type of people tries their best to please others and avoid conflict. They treat the needs of other as more important than theirs. They behave as if the other person has more rights and more to contribute. They are apologetic because they feel as if they are imposing when they want something. They try their best to avoid any confrontation and will yield to preferences of other people. They feel like the victim and they refuse compliments. They don’t express their desires or how they are feeling. 


The Manipulative Communication Style 

People employing this style are scheming, shrewd and calculating. Manipulative communicators are great at influencing and controlling others for their own benefit. They have an underlying message when they speak, and many times the other person is unaware. They are cunning, control other people in an insidious way such as sulking, using fake tears, indirectly asking for their needs to be met, and making the other person feel sorry or obliged to help them. 


Assertive Communication Style 

This is the best style of communication. It is the most effective communication style. It is born of high self-esteem and is neither too passive and too aggressive. People using this style of communication have the confidence to communicate without having to employ games or manipulation. They know their limits and don’t allow people to push them beyond the limit just because the other person needs or wants something from them. The surprise is that this is the least used style of communication. 



HOW TO DEVELOP A ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE

The first and most key step for developing this capability is the awareness and acknowledgement that the effectiveness of your message is highly dependent on how you deliver the message, rather than what the message is. The content of your message needs to be solid of course, but the focus of your presentation should be on how to best deliver the message. 


GETTING THE MESSAGE ACROSS


  1. Preparation
  2. Communicating the message
  3. Check for understanding 
  4. Repetition

1. Preparation


There are a couple of things to consider in your preparation: 


  • Who is in your audience: 
  • Personality types: are they interested in the big picture or the details, do they ask questions right away or need encouragement, do they have a business focus, or a relationship focus? 
  • What do they already know and what is their interest, why would they listen? 
  • The key messages you want to bring across. People will normally only remember a few messages and you want them at least to remember the key ones. 
  • Build your storyline around these key messages. 
  • Consider the possible questions and responses from the audience and prepare your answers and replies. 
  • Rehearse your presentation, either in your head or with someone else. 


 

2. Communicating the message 


Considerations: 


  • Wait until you have the full attention of your audience before communicating your message. 
  • Provide context; do not assume that your audience will understand why you are communicating nor will they have a full understanding of your context. 
  • Use stories, examples, or metaphors to support the understanding. 
  • Use clear, unambiguous language, with no margin for interpretation. 
  • Repeat your key messages at least three times. 
     


3. Check for understanding 

Checking for understanding is a final and sometimes uncomfortable step. Do not assume that silence means agreement or even that verbal agreement means that the message came across. In many cases, after solid preparation and hard work, you find yourself in a situation where the message has not completely landed. Or that some of your messages are misinterpreted and create confusion rather than clarity. This is the main reason people tend to avoid checking for understanding, as it often is confrontational. There is no reason to be hard on yourself! This is just how communication works. It is like how you hear and produce information. Actively checking for understanding provides you with feedback to prepare another piece of communication. 



4. Repetition 

It is often said, repetition is key for effective communication. Repetition during presentation but also repeating your messages several occasions. And again, and again, and again. 


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