Leading Self and Others
Resilience
"Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up"
- Mary Holloway -
Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as planned. Resilient people don't wallow or dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward.
According to the research of leading psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience:
Challenge – Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth. They don't view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.
Commitment – Resilient people are committed to their lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn't just restricted to their work – they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs.
Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to take action.
ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS TO RESILIENCE
- Challenge
- Commitment
- Control
HOW TO DEVELOP RESILIENCE
You can develop resilience by incorporating the following into your daily life:
- Learn to relax
When you take care of your mind and body, you're better able to cope effectively with challenges in your life. Develop a good sleep routine, try out a new exercise or use physical relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. There are many apps available to help you with this.
- Practice thought awareness
Resilient people don't let negative thoughts derail their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. This means listening to how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong – if you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalized, correct these thoughts in your mind.
- Learn from your mistakes and failures
Every mistake has the power to teach you something important, so look for the lesson in every situation.
- Choose your response
We all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond: we can choose to react with panic and negativity, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you.
- Maintain perspective
Resilient people understand that, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. Ask yourself the question: “If I look back at this event a year from now, will I still remember this as a big issue?”
- Set yourself some goals
If you don't already, learn to set SMART, effective personal goals that match your values, and that can help you to learn from your experiences.
- Develop strong relationships
People who have strong relationships at work are more resistant to stress, and they're happier in their role. This also goes for your personal life: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you're going to be, because you have a strong support network to fall back on
- Focus on situations you can control
Make clear distinction between situations and events you can and can’t control and spend your time and effort only on the things you can control.