Personal Effectiveness
Self Awareness
“Human beings are works in progress, that mistakenly think they’re finished”
- Dan Gilbert -
Self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your standards and values and how your interactions are perceived and have impact on others.
When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, and negative. When your behavior and values are aligned, you feel positive and self-confident. Self-awareness also gives you a deeper understanding of your own attitudes, opinions, and knowledge.
Self-awareness is focused on the impact your behavior has on other people. Self-awareness gives you the ability to understand and control your own emotions and actions, and it helps you understand how these affect the emotions and actions of others.
WHY SELF-AWARENESS IS IMPORTANT
Research shows a strong link between self-awareness and high-performance. You are simply more effective when you understand your internal state, as well as your team members' emotions.
If you are aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you have the power to use your strengths intentionally, and to manage or eliminate your weaknesses. When you can admit what you do not know – and you have the humility to ask for help when you need it – you increase your credibility with your team.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses also has positive, long-term benefits for your career, researchers found those who were aware of their strengths were more self-confident, and happier at work. On a personal level, having self-awareness allows you to approach people and situations with confidence. In turn, this means that you gain control of your own life, direction, and experiences.
HOW TO DEVELOP SELF - AWARENESS
- Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
- Seek input and feedback from others
- Reflect on the impact you have
- Focus on others
1. Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
You can start building self-awareness by learning where you are strongest and weakest. When you understand how your personality compares with the personalities of other people, you can discover what motivates you, and how you relate to the world. Both are important aspects of self-awareness.
This is where personality profiles such as the Insights Discovery, Myers Briggs, or Big Five Personality Model can be valuable tools for self-discovery. You might also want to take the Strengths Finder self-test, which helps you identify your five greatest strengths.
2. Seek Input and Feedback from Others
As a leader, to be open to input and feedback to others and to be initiating in seeking it, shows the way for others. This may uncomfortable and you may experience vulnerability in doing so, however the discomfort will be worth it as the benefits will far outweigh it.
The only way to get better is to hear what you are not doing well. While praise is wonderful, it doesn’t help you get better. Listen for the criticism. Ask for it. Seek it out. It might be hard to hear, but don’t reject negative feedback out of hand. Consider where it is coming from; try to identify what prompted it; evaluate the merits of what is being said, and how you might approach your work differently.
And the biggest gain, is for those who gave you the feedback to see that you have taken it to heart and are shifting your actions in alignment with their suggestions.
3. Reflect on the Impact You Have
When you are self-aware, you understand how you instinctively think, connect with other people, communicate, and make decisions.
A great way to understand these things is to keep a journal, where you write about your day, the things that you did, the emotions you experienced and expressed, and the consequences of these. This helps you think about what does and does not work for you, and helps you be more aware of your impact on other people.
Alternatively, take a break for five or 10 minutes a day and use a reflective practice such as meditation or journaling. Meditation helps broaden and strengthen your self-awareness, and it can also lower stress. Or take time in the evening to reflect quietly about your day and think about how effectively you worked with people. What did you do well? And what could you have done better?
Reflection is a very personal thing and different people will define it in different ways. It is important to remember that there is no one 'correct' way of defining what reflection is or how it should be done as a lot of this will depend on your own circumstances.
Why reflect?
It has many benefits at both a personal and professional level and can help you to focus on planning for future experiences. What are the main benefits of reflection?
- It can really help with the issue of 'self-talk'. We all have a little voice inside our heads which reminds us of all the things we could have done differently in certain situations. Reflecting on an experience can help to put this voice to use as we learn from what we have done and move forward.
- It gives you areas to improve on or develop. You will find that you are constantly being asked for ways in which you can develop your knowledge and skills. Reflecting can help you to think about areas that you can work on as well as what you are doing well.
- Reflection can help you to be more creative and try new things. It is quite easy to get stuck in a rut and it can be helpful to think about what you are doing and why you are doing it. This can help to spark innovative ideas and ways of thinking.
- Human nature means that we all make assumptions about people and situations. Taking a step back and reflecting can help you to challenge some of these assumptions and see things from a new perspective.
- Reflection is a key part of emotional intelligence - the ability to understand and remain in control of our emotions.
- It helps to maintain a healthy work/life balance by offering a defined process for thinking things through, hopefully you can learn from them and move on rather than dwelling on what happened.
How to reflect
There is no one magic formula to follow and you will find that what works for your peers might not work for you. Some people find reflecting aloud works for them whilst for others it is a private thing. You can be really organized and write your reflections down or you can do it as and when you can. It is best if you can reflect regularly as this will help you get into the habit and you will be able to build on what you learn.
4. Focus on Others
Leaders who are self-aware are conscious of how their words and actions influence others. Take time to weigh what you say carefully and think about how it will affect the person that you are speaking to.
If you find yourself taking your stress, anger, or frustrations out on others, stop immediately. Instead, see if you can find something positive about the situation. Take a few deep breaths, or even walk away if you find that you cannot control your emotions.
When you manage your own words or actions, it does not mean that you are being false. Rather, it shows that you care about other people enough not to say or do something that might affect them in a negative way. Showing humility is an important part of this. When you are humble, you focus your attention and energy on others and not on yourself.
Content contributed by Helen Morley, 2021